Coping with Serious Illness

A life-threatening illness is terribly emotional. It has a broad impact and affects many people - family, friends and co-workers.

In this section, you can learn more about the stages of life-threatening illnesses and end-of-life decisions that you may face. You'll find of information for adults and children on coping with feelings of grief, frustration and shock. And you'll find out how cultural considerations may play a part of coping with grief.

Click on the links above to learn more about coping, the decisions you face and options for counseling and therapy that may be helpful to you in times of personal and family turmoil.

Coping With Grief and Loss

Many families have suffered the loss of a loved one due to Mesothelioma or an asbestos-related lung cancer. We often receive requests for advice about coping with loss. There are many resources available, and we have compiled this information while we worked with grieving clients and their families. We hope it will be helpful to you as you work through this difficult time. When a loved one receives a diagnosis of a life threatening illness, such as Mesothelioma, the patient and his or her family may experience pain and grief before the illness has run its course, and if treatment is unsuccessful, long after the loved one has passed away. Grief is a normal process that everyone goes through, and you should remember that there is no right way to deal with this pain. Each individual experiences grief differently and uniquely, and it can be experienced in many ways - including mentally, physically, socially and emotionally. Sometimes it can cause you to have problems eating, sleeping, and handling every day activities. You may lash out in anger, have difficulty in handling the smallest emotions, or regress into a state where you want to be alone. Grief is not an indicator of how much we loved someone we have lost, or a measure of our worth. Sometimes, it can seem overwhelming, and brings uncertainties about your own life. It is not an end, or the end of the person you have lost. Rather, it is the beginning of the process of healing and accepting the pain of separation. The most important thing to remember is that you are not alone, and that there are numerous resources available to help you work through the pain that you may be experiencing. Some people must learn to cope with grief before a loved one actually passes away. With a life threatening illness such as Mesothelioma, you may begin to experience grief in anticipation of death. Even as you try to stay focused on treatment and survival, focus will shift from prolonging life to providing comfort and relief to the patient. If treatment is unsuccessful, there will be an interest in the idea of dying with dignity. This is a good time for Hospice to become involved in your care. Hospice treatment is given in the patient's home and is focused on making the patient as comfortable as possible. Hospice care varies, but generally they provide medical care, nursing care, homemaker services, social work services, grief & counseling services, volunteer assistance and spiritual care. Hospice can provide relief and support to family members that have been overwhelmed with caring for a loved one during a lengthy illness and transition them into working through the grief that is to come. At some point in our lives, we must all experience grief and learn to work through the process. Everyone's grief is unique, and we all handle it differently. It is important to remember that there are many resources out there that can offer help: books, websites, hospice groups, support groups, counselors, priests or other religious figures, family and friends. National organizations, such as the American Cancer Society, AARP, and Hospice Foundation of America offer information and programs that can assist you. There are also local programs in cities all around the United States. All of these can help you to acknowledge your feelings and help you learn to work through them as you move through this difficult time in your life.ey

Recommended Reading

  • How To Go On Living When Someone You Love Dies by Therese A. Rando

  • Chicken Soup for the Grieving Soul: Stories About Life, Death and Overcoming the Loss of a Loved One (Chicken Soup for the Soul) by Jack Canfield, Mark Hansen

  • When There Are No Words: Finding Your Way to Cope With Loss and Grief by Charlie Walton

  • Remembering With Love: Messages of Hope for the First Year of Grieving and Beyond by Elizabeth Levang, Ph.D., Sherokee Ilse

  • Healing After Loss: Daily Meditations For Working Through Grief by Martha W. Hickman

  • I Wasn't Ready to Say Goodbye: Surviving, Coping and Healing After the Sudden Death of a Loved One by Brook Noel, Pamela D. Blair, PH.D.

Recommended Resources

The Cancer Survivors Network www.acscsn.org The American Cancer Society has developed the Cancer Survivors Network to help assist you during this difficult time. Highlights include: A Resource Library, Assistance locating Community Resources, A place to share your personal experiences with others, and free literature on coping with grief and life after cancer. CancerCare www.cancercare.org CancerCare is a good source of information on learning about the different types of cancer and how to manage them. Also, they provide assistance with locating cancer care services and other resources. AARP www.aarp.org/griefandloss/about.html AARP offers a wealth of information. You can learn about "The Grief Journey" and AARP Grief Programs. They also have sections on finding community support and resources, coping with your loss, remembering & celebrating the life of a loved one, and helping others heal when they have suffered a loss. Online support groups are also offered. Hospice Foundation of America www.hospicefoundation.org/griefAndLoss/ HFA offers information the benefits of Hospice, and assistance in locating a Hospice near you. They also offer information on several topics, including "Guilt & Regret In Prolonged Illness" and "Shattering Eight Myths About Grief". You can search their "End of Life" Database, where you can find a wealth of information on pain management, death with dignity, bereavement, estate planning, and improving quality of care. National Cancer Institute www.cancer.gov/cancerinfo/pdq/supportivecare/bereavement/patient/ Offers an in depth look at Loss, Grief & Bereavement. Topics include handling a life threatening illness, pathway to death, anticipatory grief, phases of grief and more.